God

Just wanted to take a second and say


" I Love You Jesus!"

Is this for real? My heart is burning!

Ok so my cousin comes home all excited one day and says Nick we gotta talk! He says that he met a guy at the gym...around 45yrs old kinda hippy-ish. They would talk about God off and on. Mike my cousin said he was really weird but that he liked what the guy was saying that it made sense. This guys name was Gerard. Gerard shared the truth about Gods love to my cousin and how you could really experience the love of God in a Physical way not just in the mind you know believing...

So I guess they were talking as they left the gym one day and Gerard for the first time asked if he could pray for Mike. Well He laid his hands on him and prayed that God would set his heart on fire with love and passion for God! Well Mike said at the time he felt at peace big time almost like being high except without the paranoia! lol

Well the next morning Mike woke up and freaked out! His heart was on fire! He felt his heart really burning... he went to the doctor and had it checked out. Nothing. Well he remembered that Gerard prayed for his heart to be on fire!

The reason I tell this part of the story is because it's really to me! I lived with guy for years and knew him all my life! I knew something or someone was doing something in Him! Anyways he was like Nick you gotta met Gerard. I said ok. I had no idea what was about to happen to me...My life has never been the same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Radicalism to Relationship

Well I might slow it down here...maybe not...but this is what I live for...sharing my relationship with God with others. My prayer is that this blog will relate to millions of people out there and give an understanding that their is something real and fulfilling!

Well in my time of coming out of being radical I was living with my Cousin. We lived together awhile, at first we hardly talked. He was of the belief that the bible was everything, and that anything supernatural was of the devil. No Holy Spirit stuff, none of that tongues, healing or weird stuff. And I was a beliver of the stuff but just had never seen it. I had seen a lot of hokey pokey stuff! People being all emotional. People pushing you while they pray for you and trying to say that God is knocking you over!!!

True story I went to this church one time, I go forward to get prayed for and these people just kept trying to knock me down. After awhile this group of about 5 older ladies come pray for me and one of them starts pushing on the back of my knees trying to get me to go down. I was the only one still standing so I guess I was the one to get...lol. Then this huge guy maybe 7ft tall and 300 pounds. Bald head looks like Hulk Hogan! He must of seen me so he runs over screaming in tongues at me!!!!!!!!! Scared the u know what out of me, but I still didnt fall. I started walking to the back of the church to leave and the guy had gathered up a posse to bring me down! They had grabbed the special visiting preacher to try...no luck...

Anyways the point is i've seen the fake! I just had to belive that God could and wanted to interact the same as He did with Apostle Paul and how He did in the book of acts...in Corinthians it talked about speaking in tongues and other spiritual gifts...I just had never seen it. So here we are living together as christians but on totally oppisite sides of the fence. But one day he came home so excited....

Dwelling in God
Nick

Rebelion to Radical

Alright so where were we? Oh ya the rock concert. Did I mention I hated Rock? Well it was loud and I couldnt wait for it to be over. So hours later the leader of the band says... if anyone wants to accept Jesus as their lord and savior please stand up and u can get a free cd also. Well all of a sudden, I start balling and I stand up...I get saved And a free cd! Well I may never understand how that all went down, but I say God made me get saved. I dont mind trust me!

Well my heart definietly was changed in a huge way that night but not much else changed right away. I would cuss someone out and be rude just the same but now I would feel bad afterwards...that was a bum deal!!!!!!!!! lol. I still looked and acted like a little thug but I had been born again!!! Another thing that changed was I became hungry to find out what the bible really said. Since I had learned everything out of church and moms morning devotions. I wanted to know the bible for myself.

So here I am all Banged out wearing my baggy pants and Bandanas. Definitly looked like trouble... but now I started carrying my Bible around with me. I dont mean on sundays or on church days but all the time. I would seriously read as i walked. I would spend 1min reading the bible if I had it. I read and I read. I read that bible through more than 10 times through in the next 2yrs. No joke. At that time I had a couple of the books memorized and all of the key verses down pat. I could even tell you the chapter and verse.

I began to preach and teach. I was known as the Bible boy! lol. I definitly had the whole realationship thing with God a little bit and for a little while but it was washed away with me becoming more and more Radical...I studied and studied and preached the Word. I worked and I worked. At the school I went to I started a boys bible group at night in my dorm room, it was a boarding school. It started with 3 and ended with 30+. Well everything was great or so I thought....

So thats what i mean about when I say Radicalism. I believe being radical is good when it is truely radical coming from a lovers heart... like being devoted for 40+ not something you do out of your own strength for 5yrs or 10yrs....

So I found that when I moved back home from Monterey to Porterville...I became lonely...I could not find anyone who wanted to feed my radicalism...lol. Nobody cared that I read the bible alot or knew a lot about God. I preached but it just became so empty... I Started to realize that I was not close to God. Not any closer than I was at least. I didnt know what to do. I looked in the bible and started to ask Questions like why dont I heal the sick or have the holy spirit? I became hungry to realy know God. I didnt want to accept that the bible was all we had of God. If it was I had already used that all up!!!!

Well Radical sucked after awhile...I was hungry for something real. This is when I started really getting addicted to porn and experimenting with pleasures of the world...I didnt want to rebel I just wanted something real, remember I had already gotten Delivered from religon!!!!! I wasnt going back to that, and I was delievered from Rebelion, I really just held onto the stories of real spiritual things. I had experienced evil spirits and some crazy evilspiritual things but not anything spiritual of God...just boring church. I stopped going to church and I actually started into my old passion Basketbal. I played 6-7 times a week. I was addicted to the feeling of being good at something. Well at this time it happened....

I will tell you how I went from Radical to relationship next time...
Dwelling in God
Nick

From Religon to Rebellion

Well it didnt happen over night but I turned from Angel to a little demon. I wont list all the bad stuff in detail, because my mom might read this some day...but I did start getting D's and F's in school. I remember saying my first bad word. It was " Hell ". I got jumped in to a gang at 12yrs old. I began to "bang". Which really is wearing bandanas and ditching school and mouthing off to Adults! I began my walk down the road to becoming a sex addict. I was rude and could be cruel. I stole stuff for my homies from gas stations like beer and smokes. I started my own gang when i was 15. Jumped 15 guys into it.

I had a lot of fun as a rebel! At least for a little while...When I turned 16 I start to get tired of the Gang life. It was scary...always looking over your shoulder. Never knowing if you were going to get your a#@ beat while taking a leak in the bathroom. Not being able to cross the street because there are 20 guys standing there wanting you dead. And knowing that a couple of them have tried on a number of occasions. There was also this guy named Ryan Ruckman who seemed to be everywhere I turned, "saving" me...saying,"Nick say this prayer," I would spit in his face cuss, him out and mocked him.

Then one night I went with my brother to a christian Rock concert. I Hate Rock. More then than now but still dont like it. Anyways I was a cool Gangster who listened to Rap, Snoop Dog, you know good music. Well I would go a lot of places with my brother because he would go pick up my girlfriend and bring her with us. So I was at church alot! Actually outside making out with my girlfriend while Ruckman was singing about Jesus...lol.
Well at this Rock concert God, made me become a christian...

Well I will explain and talk about going from Rebellion into Radical next time...

Dwell in God and be blessed!!!!!!
Nick

Hi my name is Nick

Well this first blog is to catch anyone up to my present day...

I was born in 1979. I was born into a normal household. i had an older brother who is 5yrs older than me. i had a great childhood! My memories of my childhood were all good pretty much. My parents were leaders in our church. My mom was like the Sunday School Superintendent for the kids and my Dad was looked at as an on fire passionate christian. I was the perfect child. I never said a cuss word, I knew all the bible verses...I really was like the perfect child. Straight A's and everything!

So i call this place in my life Religion! I believe I was delivered from this when I was 11yrs old! I only knew God from out of the bible, from what my parents showed me, and what i was taught in all my Church classes! Basically I knew of God but did not know Him in any real way other than just a belief. Just like any other Religion!!!!!!
Well one night me and my brother came home from church ( we practically lived there) and my dad had us gather around in the dinning room...and my parents proceeded to tell us that they were going to get a divorce. Well my brother took off to his room crying and i was scratching my head wondering why. I actually thought a divorce was a good thing like a vacation...ya i was sheltered!!!! Well they explained that my mom was not going to live with us anymore and they were not going to be married anymore... that's when i got delivered from Religion!

Well thats it for this edition. I will continue with how the divorced confused me and sent me into my next stage of life...Rebellion!!
On the journey to
Dwell in God, Nick